Squad Goals
Don Zolidis
So You Wanna Be a Cheerleader
by M. G. Davidson
Highlights
Synopsis
When cheerleading captain Britney and her three squad members Britnee, Brittani and, uh, Kevin... realize they have to find a fifth squad member to be eligible to compete at Nationals, they decide to hold tryouts to see who in their school is up to the challenge.
After a series of terrible tryouts, each one more hilarious and absurd than the last, it’s clear that everyone wants to be a cheerleader.
But how can you choose from a talent pool that includes a football player with a head injury, an eccentric goth girl, a nerd with a vendetta, and... um... a gorilla?
This screwball comedy asks the eternal question of our times: So You Wanna Be a Cheerleader?
Characters
| Character |
|---|
| BRITNEY (female) – The Captain who is trying her best. |
| BRITNEE (female) – The Snobby Sidekick. |
| BRITTANI (female) – The Not-So-Bright One. |
| KEVIN (male, but could be female) – The Sarcastic One. |
| TAYLOR The shyest kid ever. |
| PATTI MARCONI The biggest nerd in school. |
| DEBRA MORRIS A recently dumped girl, cries a lot. |
| GOTH GIRL Just like it sounds. |
| MUSICAL THEATER GIRL Annoying and has seen every episode of Glee… twice. |
| MCNUBBINS A football jock, not the brightest star in the galaxy. |
| MARTHA Britney’s mom (could be played by a teacher if desired) |
| BERT Britney’s dad (could be played by a teacher if desired, or could be cut all together). |
| GLADYS An old woman (this is really funny if played by a male, but can be played by a woman as well). |
| JAMIE Has a paper bag for a head. |
| PRUDENCE GOODFELLOW Uh… a little ahead of her time. |
| GIANT GORILLA A large primate. |
| MAX Thinks the apocalypse is here… may or may not be correct. |
| BRITNIE The only normal one. |
Publication
So You Wanna Be a Cheerleader is a comedy play written by M. G. Davidson and published by Playscripts .
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