Oatmeal And A Cigarette
by George Sapio

Three-year-old Billy leads a charmed life; he stays home all day, gets his diapers changed, sleeps in a crib.

His Mommy cooks his dinner every night, tells him stories, and knits his security blankets.

And he gets to look out the window and color in his books all he wants.

Except … Billy is actually thirty years old; he's never been out of the apartment.

His "Mommy" is actually his older brother, who fills his head with terrifying nursery rhymes about everything outside.

And the babysitter is a grad student.

Her thesis topic is Billy.

But she hasn't mentioned that fact yet.