

Rex's Exes
Jones Hope Wooten
In this deliciously funny Southern-fried comedy, the Verdeen cousins of Sweetgum, TX – Gaynelle, Peaches, and Jimmie Wyvette – are up against the clock as they frantically attempt to produce the ultimate high school reunion before their old school building is demolished.
But they’ve got a bushel of obstacles to overcome before they can pull off this miracle: Gaynelle is reeling from the humiliating demise of her loathed ex-husband; Peaches’ romantic life has tanked because the older her dates get, the more horrified they are by her job as a mortuarial cosmetologist; and Jimmie Wyvette is trying to live down her on-camera catfight with a local televangelist.
To top it all off, the cousins have got to impress a governor’s aide with their party-planning capabilities, so that they can nab the plum job of throwing the governor’s birthday bash – and keep their business afloat.
Their scramble to prepare the perfect event is interrupted by the exploits of their beloved Uncle Aubrey, who is in danger of getting throttled by the two octogenarian sisters he’s simultaneously romancing, and by threats from their self-righteous Aunt LaMerle, who is determined to be crowned the final and forever Guacamole Queen of Sweetgum High.
And that’s before one of Peaches’ former classmates arrives with a malevolent hand puppet and a score to settle, Jimmie Wyvette hog-ties the sherriff with police tape, the high school gym is blown away, and the desperate battle for Guacamole Queen heats up into an outrageous fight to the finish.
Chaos is side-splittingly achieved!
A gut-busting Jones Hope Wooten farce – and a standalone play in its own right – Last Round-Up of the Guacamole Queens is the third and final comedy in the Verdeen Cousins‘ Texas Trilogy that begins with The Red Velvet Cake War and continues with Rex’s Exes .
"Through laughter and heartwarming moments, Last Round-Up of the Guacamole Queens explores the themes of family, friendship, and the resilience of small-town communities. The play delivers a delightful and comedic tale of the Verdeen cousins' struggle to restore their family name and hold on to their traditions in the face of adversity."
— Aiken Community Theatre
"The questionable decisions of the Verdeen girls, their holier-than-thou aunt, their Casanova uncle, and an old classmate with a peculiar ‘little buddy’ create total pandemonium. Toss in the host of a cable-access show, a quirky chef, a bumbling sheriff (is there any other kind?) a pair of aging cheerleaders and the Texas governor, and you have the recipe for a hilarious evening."
— The Column
| Character |
|---|
| Jimmie Wyvette Verdeen 40s |
| Peaches Verdeen Belrose late 40s |
| Gaynelle Verdeen 50s |
| Lamerle Verdeen Minshew late 60s to 70 |
| Aubrey Verdeen 90s |
| Dixie Davenport 50s |
| Ennis Crowder Puckett 80s |
| Della Crowder 80s |
| Grover Lout 40s |
| Dewey Davenport late 40s |
| Raynerd Chisum 40s |
| Tanzie Lockhart 50s The roles of Dixie Davenport and Tanzie Lockhart can be doubled. Obediah should be a hand puppet with human features. |
| Cee Cee Windham 50s |
Last Round-Up of the Guacamole Queens is a comedy play written by Jones Hope Wooten and published by Dramatists Play Service .
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