Sandy Toes & Salty Kisses
by Susan Parker, Michael Parker

(Age 25+) – A local gal who is working to put herself through college. She is vivacious, and personable, all of which make her eminently suitable for her job as the hotel receptionist. She enjoys her job, and although she appears to be a bit of a “flake,” her innocent, goodnatured and quirky personality always shines through to cover her inadequacies. Candy’s innate, innocent ability to make a mess of things causes many comedic visual sequences, which involve her, and therefore she needs to be reasonably agile and athletic.

(Age 50+) – Bubba is the younger brother of Archibald Brown, the former “recently deceased” owner of the hotel. He is rough around the edges, ingenious, and has a heart of gold. He has been the maintenance and operations manager of the hotel for many years. We learn as the play progresses that most of these operations are unconnected with the daily running of the hotel, and are highly illegal. Bubba, however, seems to have found a way around the illegalities (at least in his own mind). When Madame Coco, the wedding planner, suddenly elopes, he is coerced by his niece into playing her role. A series of quick changes have the Rutherford-Smythes believing that there really is a very “eccentric” Madame Coco.

(Age 30+) – The late Archibald’s daughter and Bubba’s niece, she grew up in the hotel but has not been there very much since graduating high school. She inherited the property a few weeks ago and has very recently taken over the business end of running the hotel. She is efficient, resourceful, smart and practical. She quickly learns that this hotel does not run like any other business with which she has been involved. As a loving and doting niece, she is faced with the problem of Uncle Bubba. Is he a “Good ol’ Southern boy” or a crafty criminal?

(Age 50+) – She belongs to what the authors call “The American Aristocracy,” the so-called blue bloods of New England. She is more concerned with her prospective son-in-law’s family history and background than anything else about him. She has a superior attitude, which tends to annoy people with whom she comes into contact. She is very used to dominating those around her and likes things done her way. As the play progresses, she adapts to the casual lifestyle of Lovers’ Landing, and ironically finds herself attracted to Bubba, a man who is the total antithesis of everything in her life.

(Age 25+) – Beatrice’s daughter, she has selected the Lovers’ Landing Beach Hotel for her destination wedding, probably to avoid the socialite trappings upon which her mother would otherwise insist. She is marrying Peter, whom she has known for only a short time, despite the fact that her mother considers him totally unsuitable. At first we see her as a self-centered, pampered, rich girl. But, as she discovers what she thinks is her fiancé’s apparent infidelity, she becomes a strong-minded woman, determined to discover the truth.

(Age 30+) – Checks into the hotel and arouses Bubba’s suspicions when he is found taking detailed photographs of the hotel and asking questions of the locals in town. Bubba believes him to be a government agent from the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. Audrina agrees to help her uncle discover who he is, but in doing so, begins to fall for Douglas. Candy innocently mistakes him for Peter Mudd, causing Douglas a great deal of trouble. While investigating the hotel, he becomes convinced that there is some truth to the mystique of Lovers’ Landing, the home of Sandy Toes & Salty Kisses, especially after Candy, Traci, Audrina, Beatrice, and – yes – even Madame Coco “come on to him.” It isn’t till the end of the play that it is revealed he is a writer for a destination wedding magazine. (This role can be doubled by the actor playing Peter Mudd.)

(Age 30+) – Traci’s fiancé arrives at Lovers’ Landing, and despite his rocky relationship with his future mother-in-law, the dragon lady, he is looking forward to spending time with his lovely bride-to-be. Alas, poor Peter never gets that chance. One event after another, created accidentally by Candy, leaves Peter in compromising positions, with Beatrice and Traci, believing he has “strayed,” purposely rendering him unconscious. Despite the on again-off again wedding, Peter continues to try to convince Traci of his love.