Guess Who's Coming to Seder
by Leon Kaye

Guess Who's Coming to Seder Book Cover — Guess Who's Coming to Seder Cover

Highlights

Small Cast

Female

Male

105 minsPresent DayEnsemble CastInterior SetContemporary Costumes/Street ClothesAmerican Comedy

Synopsis

Hilly, a plain Jewish woman nearing 40, is desperate to marry.

She grasps at the only alternative she sees in a wise-guy type named Paul.

Little does she know the guy is marrying her for her supposed money to help get himself out of gambling debts.

It’s Seder and the loan sharks are on the way, looking for their money.

Hilly’s parents are fighting, the neighbor is going into labor.

Oy vey, right?

Characters

Character	Gender	Age	Description
HILLY BUCHMAN 39, unattractive, desperate to have a child. Her intelligence, moxie and humor are nowhere near enough to lure an ordinary husband.	female	—	39, unattractive, desperate to have a child. Her intelligence, moxie and humor are nowhere near enough to lure an ordinary husband.
IRENE BUCHMAN Mid-60s, believes herself to be an exemplary Jew, worthy of emulation. She wants her family to fall in line and nags and browbeats them into submission.	female	60s	Mid-60s, believes herself to be an exemplary Jew, worthy of emulation. She wants her family to fall in line and nags and browbeats them into submission.
SY BUCHMAN Late 60s, his priorities are his comfort and desire. He is impatient and doesn’t often listen to what others say, he just waits for them to finish speaking so he can impart his seemingly wise words.	male	60s	Late 60s, his priorities are his comfort and desire. He is impatient and doesn’t often listen to what others say, he just waits for them to finish speaking so he can impart his seemingly wise words.
PAUL VERONA Hilly’s betrothed, 40s, a two-bit drug dealer who thinks he’s marrying into money so he can pay off gambling debts.	male	40s	Hilly’s betrothed, 40s, a two-bit drug dealer who thinks he’s marrying into money so he can pay off gambling debts.
PAM 30, 9 months pregnant, an unassertive young woman.	female	30	30, 9 months pregnant, an unassertive young woman.
LORRE Late 30s, trying to give up drinking, but his withdrawal makes him more abrasive, he is also as dumb as pond water.	male	30s	Late 30s, trying to give up drinking, but his withdrawal makes him more abrasive, he is also as dumb as pond water.
RITTER A homeless man, offstage voice.	male	—	A homeless man, offstage voice.
D-X A gang drug dealer, offstage voice.	—	—	A gang drug dealer, offstage voice.
LOUIS PRIMO A mobster, offstage voice.	—	—	A mobster, offstage voice.