Opal's Husband
by John Patrick

Bent as usual on a good deed, Opal tries to round up a husband for her friend Rosie and answers a lonely hearts ad placed by "Mister Handsome"—who, when he shows up, proves to be a ninety-five-year-old escapee from a nursing home.

As expected, complications ensue, and when Rosie rejects her would-be suitor, Opal reluctantly agrees to marry him in order to keep the old man from the clutches of his scheming daughter.

It seems that he really is quite rich, and his desire is to spend his last days (and his fortune) with a nubile maiden on a South Pacific island while his daughter wants him to expire quickly, and quietly, in the old folk's home.

Thereafter the plots and counter-plots multiply hilariously as the daughter and her husband try to discredit the marriage (and convince Opal that she is cuckoo), while the old man devises his own plan to catch them in their dirty work.

Happily he succeeds, and off he goes to his fond reward, leaving Opal with both an annulment and another delightful lesson in life to pass on to her myriad admirers.