Mail
by Michael Rupert, Jerry Colker

Name: Mail
Brand: Michael Rupert
SKU: 9780573681943

Highlights

Large Cast

Female

Male

Present Day Reduced Casting (Doubling Possible) Interior Set Contemporary Costumes/Street Clothes American

Synopsis

Mail piles up for months while Alex, an unpublished author, slips away to escape anxieties over his artistic and romantic problems.

When he returns to open the accumulation, each letter springs to life.

Alex’s girlfriend, his family and his best friend – even those sending bills and hilarious junk mail – fill the stage with song and dance.

This is a wild and wacky musical by the authors of 3 Guys Naked from the Waist Down .

Themes Librettos Musicals

Press Reviews

"A least 12 songs are solid enough to stand on their own. If Mail can't deliver, there is little hope for the future of the musical theatre."
— Drama Logue

Characters

Character	Gender	Age	Description
ALEX 29 years old. A struggling novelist who’s at the crossroads of his life. He’s funny, charming, self-deprecating, and unable to deal with the reciprocal demands of family, friends, and the outside world. Alex is a walking pre-mid-life passage crisis with an offbeat creative imagination. He must cram ten years worth of personal growth – and four months worth of personal mail – into just one night.	male	29	29 years old. A struggling novelist who’s at the crossroads of his life. He’s funny, charming, self-deprecating, and unable to deal with the reciprocal demands of family, friends, and the outside world. Alex is a walking pre-mid-life passage crisis with an offbeat creative imagination. He must cram ten years worth of personal growth – and four months worth of personal mail – into just one night.
DANA Late 20s, early 30s. A PhD in Psychology who works in the field of Special Education. Dana is smart, sexy, tough, vulnerable, funny, funky, an emotional juggernaut who is able to advise everybody but herself. Her multi-colored personality is expressed in the way she dresses, a different look for every mood, and the moods change fast. One look at Dana, and you just want to hug her.	female	20s	Late 20s, early 30s. A PhD in Psychology who works in the field of Special Education. Dana is smart, sexy, tough, vulnerable, funny, funky, an emotional juggernaut who is able to advise everybody but herself. Her multi-colored personality is expressed in the way she dresses, a different look for every mood, and the moods change fast. One look at Dana, and you just want to hug her.
MAX Late 50s, early 60s. Max grew up in the Depression and World War Il era, where everything was black and white. He’s blue-collar Jewish with a fatalistic sense of humor, a lot of charm, and a sturdiness, he is a man of substance. More than anything he wants to communicate with his son, but because of his own upbringing and the way he brought Alex up, he simply can’t. But he tries. He’s macho, funny and endearing.	male	50s	Late 50s, early 60s. Max grew up in the Depression and World War Il era, where everything was black and white. He’s blue-collar Jewish with a fatalistic sense of humor, a lot of charm, and a sturdiness, he is a man of substance. More than anything he wants to communicate with his son, but because of his own upbringing and the way he brought Alex up, he simply can’t. But he tries. He’s macho, funny and endearing.
FRANKLIN Late 20s, early 30s. Alex’s best friend. Franklin’s a hip, sexy, flashy, oh so cool, and oh so hot, Black male, who is incredibly ambitious, and always wants to include Alex in his “path to success” schemes. Franklin is always “on,” yet beneath the colorful exterior, beats the heart of a true friend. His affection for Alex is contagious. He seduces with charm and explodes with excitement.	male	20s	Late 20s, early 30s. Alex’s best friend. Franklin’s a hip, sexy, flashy, oh so cool, and oh so hot, Black male, who is incredibly ambitious, and always wants to include Alex in his “path to success” schemes. Franklin is always “on,” yet beneath the colorful exterior, beats the heart of a true friend. His affection for Alex is contagious. He seduces with charm and explodes with excitement.
SANDI Late 30s, early 40s. Alex’s literary agent. Easily one of the top literary agents in the city. Extremely well-traveled, Sandi carries herself with exotic self-assurance. She comes from money and knows how to spend it. Every appearance she makes is an “entrance” for her, an opportunity for others to drink in her high style and taste, for she is always dazzling, sexy, charming and funny. She truly believes in Alex’s talent and is obsessed with him professionally and personally. She plays “Svengali” to the hilt, and if you cross her, watch out.	female	30s	Late 30s, early 40s. Alex’s literary agent. Easily one of the top literary agents in the city. Extremely well-traveled, Sandi carries herself with exotic self-assurance. She comes from money and knows how to spend it. Every appearance she makes is an “entrance” for her, an opportunity for others to drink in her high style and taste, for she is always dazzling, sexy, charming and funny. She truly believes in Alex’s talent and is obsessed with him professionally and personally. She plays “Svengali” to the hilt, and if you cross her, watch out.
FEMALE ENSEMBLE I A large Black female with a huge voice who can dance. She plays several roles:RADIO VOICE – Smooth, cool, jazzy, club singer.MAMA UTILITY – Powerful, mean, funny, headworker from Con Edison.BRUNHILDA – Quintessential mezzo-soprano from the Metropolitan Opera wearing viking helmet and braids.OPERATOR – Maniacal high-tech head switchboard worker from New York Telephone.LOIS T. WERTSHAFTER – High school principal. Strict authoritarian with a stick up her butt and a soft spot for Alex.SWEEPSTAKES PITCHPERSON – Mock glamorous, funny promotor of the Clearinghouse Sweepstakes who, along with her cohorts, tries to get Alex to win the “Sweepstakes of his Life.”	female	—	A large Black female with a huge voice who can dance. She plays several roles:RADIO VOICE – Smooth, cool, jazzy, club singer.MAMA UTILITY – Powerful, mean, funny, headworker from Con Edison.BRUNHILDA – Quintessential mezzo-soprano from the Metropolitan Opera wearing viking helmet and braids.OPERATOR – Maniacal high-tech head switchboard worker from New York Telephone.LOIS T. WERTSHAFTER – High school principal. Strict authoritarian with a stick up her butt and a soft spot for Alex.SWEEPSTAKES PITCHPERSON – Mock glamorous, funny promotor of the Clearinghouse Sweepstakes who, along with her cohorts, tries to get Alex to win the “Sweepstakes of his Life.”
FEMALE ENSEMBLE II A sexy stunning expert female dancer who can sing. She plays:POWER LADY I – A scantily clad knockout fantasy worker from Con Edison. Feminine, tough, a touch sadistic, she’s an eat-your-heart-out ballbuster.GYPSY – Exotic flowing-armed sender of chain letters. She inspires mystical delight and comic terror.LIFE EXECUTIVE – All business bureaucrat from Life Magazine.PHONE WORKER – Energetic high-tech blue-collar repairperson from New York Telephone.HARMONY STEINBERG – Mini-skirted, gum chewing prick tease from Alex’s high school past.SWEEPSTAKES PITCHPERSON (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE I)	female	—	A sexy stunning expert female dancer who can sing. She plays:POWER LADY I – A scantily clad knockout fantasy worker from Con Edison. Feminine, tough, a touch sadistic, she’s an eat-your-heart-out ballbuster.GYPSY – Exotic flowing-armed sender of chain letters. She inspires mystical delight and comic terror.LIFE EXECUTIVE – All business bureaucrat from Life Magazine.PHONE WORKER – Energetic high-tech blue-collar repairperson from New York Telephone.HARMONY STEINBERG – Mini-skirted, gum chewing prick tease from Alex’s high school past.SWEEPSTAKES PITCHPERSON (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE I)
FEMALE ENSEMBLE III An attractive, energetic, character actress who can sing and dance. She plays: KATHY-SUE-EDNA-MAY-BETTY-LOU-BINGER – Alex’s landlord. A nouveau-riche Texas housewife turned real-estate magnate. She tries to be business-like but she’s basically a good ol’ girl.POWER LADY II (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE II)DEMOCRATIC PARTY DELEGATE – Well-dressed, bespectacled and faithful representative of the Democratic Party.LIFE EXECUTIVE (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE II)PHONE WORKER (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE II)CANDI SUWINSKI – Everybody’s favorite, all-American, super perky, full-of-high-school-spirit cheerleader who worships Alex.SWEEPSTAKES PITCHPERSON (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE I)	female	—	An attractive, energetic, character actress who can sing and dance. She plays: KATHY-SUE-EDNA-MAY-BETTY-LOU-BINGER – Alex’s landlord. A nouveau-riche Texas housewife turned real-estate magnate. She tries to be business-like but she’s basically a good ol’ girl.POWER LADY II (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE II)DEMOCRATIC PARTY DELEGATE – Well-dressed, bespectacled and faithful representative of the Democratic Party.LIFE EXECUTIVE (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE II)PHONE WORKER (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE II)CANDI SUWINSKI – Everybody’s favorite, all-American, super perky, full-of-high-school-spirit cheerleader who worships Alex.SWEEPSTAKES PITCHPERSON (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE I)
MALE ENSEMBLE I Distinctive character actor who’s an accomplished singer/dancer with a lot of charm. He plays:LIFE EXECUTIVE – Three-piece suit, glasses, and briefcase make up the prototypical paper pusher who comes across super square but can be a tiger when aroused.BILLY-RAY-JOE-BOB-OREL-GUS-WINSTON-BINGER I – Alex’s landlord. A super friendly, business as pleasure, nouveau riche good ol’ boy, real estate magnate.CON ED WORKER – Super tough, machismo, vain and sadistic “wires and cables” man from Con Edison.HUNTER – A funny drunken redneck whom the National Rifle Association would prefer not to be their spokesman.PHONE WORKER (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE II)MR. STANSBURY – Alex’s Advanced Placement Poetry teacher from High School. A self-styled ’80s hipster who loves to look in the mirror.THE PITCHMAN – The Master of Ceremonies, carnival barker, anything-can-happen promotor of the Clearinghouse Sweepstakes and consequently the “Sweepstakes of Alex’s Life.” Fast-talking, dazzling smile, 80s-type motivator. His sheer enjoyment for what he does is contagious.	female	80s	Distinctive character actor who’s an accomplished singer/dancer with a lot of charm. He plays:LIFE EXECUTIVE – Three-piece suit, glasses, and briefcase make up the prototypical paper pusher who comes across super square but can be a tiger when aroused.BILLY-RAY-JOE-BOB-OREL-GUS-WINSTON-BINGER I – Alex’s landlord. A super friendly, business as pleasure, nouveau riche good ol’ boy, real estate magnate.CON ED WORKER – Super tough, machismo, vain and sadistic “wires and cables” man from Con Edison.HUNTER – A funny drunken redneck whom the National Rifle Association would prefer not to be their spokesman.PHONE WORKER (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE II)MR. STANSBURY – Alex’s Advanced Placement Poetry teacher from High School. A self-styled ’80s hipster who loves to look in the mirror.THE PITCHMAN – The Master of Ceremonies, carnival barker, anything-can-happen promotor of the Clearinghouse Sweepstakes and consequently the “Sweepstakes of Alex’s Life.” Fast-talking, dazzling smile, 80s-type motivator. His sheer enjoyment for what he does is contagious.
MALE ENSEMBLE II Funny male actor/singer/dancer. Preferably a POC. He plays:LIFE EXECUTIVE (see MALE ENSEMBLE I)LANDLORD’S ASSISTANT – Kith and kin to the Bingers. Poker-faced and slightly intimidating.CON ED WORKER (see MALE ENSEMBLE I)I.R.S. REP – The bureaucrat’s bureaucrat. Super-officious. Revels in other people’s misfortunes.PHONE WORKER (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE II)TAKEUCHI FUJIMOTO* – All show and no ability high school “jock” wrestler.[*Note: If the character playing this role is Hispanic, the character will be: “IRONBALLS GOMEZ. ”If Black: “IRONBALLS JOHNSON.” If white: “IRONBALLS GOLDSTEIN.” For other ethnicities: make up a name.]SWEEPSTAKES PITCHPERSON – Mock sophisticated, funny promotor of the Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, who, along with his cohorts tries to get Alex to win the “Sweepstakes of his Life.” His specialty is the dour face that inspires Alex to sing “I’m an Asshole.”	female	—	Funny male actor/singer/dancer. Preferably a POC. He plays:LIFE EXECUTIVE (see MALE ENSEMBLE I)LANDLORD’S ASSISTANT – Kith and kin to the Bingers. Poker-faced and slightly intimidating.CON ED WORKER (see MALE ENSEMBLE I)I.R.S. REP – The bureaucrat’s bureaucrat. Super-officious. Revels in other people’s misfortunes.PHONE WORKER (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE II)TAKEUCHI FUJIMOTO* – All show and no ability high school “jock” wrestler.[*Note: If the character playing this role is Hispanic, the character will be: “IRONBALLS GOMEZ. ”If Black: “IRONBALLS JOHNSON.” If white: “IRONBALLS GOLDSTEIN.” For other ethnicities: make up a name.]SWEEPSTAKES PITCHPERSON – Mock sophisticated, funny promotor of the Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, who, along with his cohorts tries to get Alex to win the “Sweepstakes of his Life.” His specialty is the dour face that inspires Alex to sing “I’m an Asshole.”
MALE ENSEMBLE III Funny male actor/singer/dancer who’s an expert tapper. He plays:LIFE EXECUTIVE (see MALE ENSEMBLE I)LANDLORD’S ASSISTANT (see MALE ENSEMBLE II)CON ED WORKER (see MALE ENSEMBLE I)BOY SCOUT – With shorts, scarf and cap, he’s the squeaky-clean, all-American image, with a bad memory and a temper.PHONE WORKER (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE II)CRATERFACE CALLAHAN – The quintessential nerd, clashing shirt and pants, taped glasses, shirt coming out of the zipper, whiny voice, and all-around butt of every joke and prank in Alex’s high school past.SWEEPSTAKES PITCHPERSON – Mock sophisticated, funny promoter of the Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, who, along with his cohorts, tries to get Alex to win the “Sweepstakes of his Life.” His specialty is the lead tap dancer in “One Step at a Time/Ambivalent Rag II.”	female	—	Funny male actor/singer/dancer who’s an expert tapper. He plays:LIFE EXECUTIVE (see MALE ENSEMBLE I)LANDLORD’S ASSISTANT (see MALE ENSEMBLE II)CON ED WORKER (see MALE ENSEMBLE I)BOY SCOUT – With shorts, scarf and cap, he’s the squeaky-clean, all-American image, with a bad memory and a temper.PHONE WORKER (see FEMALE ENSEMBLE II)CRATERFACE CALLAHAN – The quintessential nerd, clashing shirt and pants, taped glasses, shirt coming out of the zipper, whiny voice, and all-around butt of every joke and prank in Alex’s high school past.SWEEPSTAKES PITCHPERSON – Mock sophisticated, funny promoter of the Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, who, along with his cohorts, tries to get Alex to win the “Sweepstakes of his Life.” His specialty is the lead tap dancer in “One Step at a Time/Ambivalent Rag II.”