A Collier's Tuesday Tea
by Michael Green

Name: A Collier's Tuesday Tea
Brand: Michael Green
SKU: 9780573000089
Rating: 4.08 (13 reviews)

A Collier's Tuesday Tea Book Cover — A Collier's Tuesday Tea Cover

Highlights

Female

Male

One Act 30 mins 1910s/WWI Reduced Casting (Doubling Possible) Bare Stage/Simple Set Period Costumes Comedy

Synopsis

Contained in the volume Four Plays for Coarse Actors in which the plays are presented as parodies of four dramatic styles, in the performance of which everything which can go wrong in a production does so.

A Collier's Tuesday Tea combin's the kitchen'sink with the coal-mine, and with an irreverent glance at D.H.

Lawrence.

Characters

Character	Gender	Age	Description
INSPECTOR It should be remembered that all police Inspectors come from solid Yorkshire mining stock. The Inspector thinks of himself as the society's figurehead, the one who pulls everything together at the eleventh hour. He is Damocles on a bad day.	male	—	It should be remembered that all police Inspectors come from solid Yorkshire mining stock. The Inspector thinks of himself as the society's figurehead, the one who pulls everything together at the eleventh hour. He is Damocles on a bad day.
MR. D'ARCY This middle-aged part could be played by someone in their early twenties, as an obvious exercise in miscasting.	male	—	This middle-aged part could be played by someone in their early twenties, as an obvious exercise in miscasting.
MRS. D'ARCY She merely got the part because she was the only one with a front room large enough to rehearse in. Since she can't disguise her "common" accent, she out to be playing the part of the Cook, but demanding something better.	female	—	She merely got the part because she was the only one with a front room large enough to rehearse in. Since she can't disguise her "common" accent, she out to be playing the part of the Cook, but demanding something better.
HUBERT (their son) He remains motionless throughout the play and stares with fixed gaze at the audience, rocking on his heels. He speaks as if hypnotized and reads most of his lines from a crib inside a cigarette case.	male	—	(their son) He remains motionless throughout the play and stares with fixed gaze at the audience, rocking on his heels. He speaks as if hypnotized and reads most of his lines from a crib inside a cigarette case.
THE MAJOR His concet of a Major is based on something he saw in a Hollywood film. Thus he wears a monocle - which nearly blinds him - and sprinkles his lines with extra exclamations such as "By jove!" and "What?".	male	—	His concet of a Major is based on something he saw in a Hollywood film. Thus he wears a monocle - which nearly blinds him - and sprinkles his lines with extra exclamations such as "By jove!" and "What?".
THE CORPSE (HENRY) Normally, this will be played by a dummy, unless you have someone in the company whose head will come off.	—	—	Normally, this will be played by a dummy, unless you have someone in the company whose head will come off.
JAMES Modelled on Quasimodo, both in make-up and stance. Speaks something like Bernard Miles as Long John Silver. A one-character man and this is it.	male	—	Modelled on Quasimodo, both in make-up and stance. Speaks something like Bernard Miles as Long John Silver. A one-character man and this is it.
THE COOK Very little is known about the Cook, since she spends most of the play with her cap rammed down over her eyes. A refined, middle-class lady, she speaks with a ghastly attempt at being working-class. Could be played as a maid.	female	—	Very little is known about the Cook, since she spends most of the play with her cap rammed down over her eyes. A refined, middle-class lady, she speaks with a ghastly attempt at being working-class. Could be played as a maid.
THE VICAR (RUPERT) The archetypal villain, with rolling eyes and black beard.	—	—	The archetypal villain, with rolling eyes and black beard.
SERGEANT Although the actor playing this part has been cast in twenty plays, he has yet to appear on stage. At the point of his entrance, he will be in the pub next door. In this revised edition he is actually allowed to appear (five minutes too late). This is optional.	male	—	Although the actor playing this part has been cast in twenty plays, he has yet to appear on stage. At the point of his entrance, he will be in the pub next door. In this revised edition he is actually allowed to appear (five minutes too late). This is optional.
PROMPT The personage is listed under the Cast as she will form an important part of the performance of the play. At moments of stress it may even be necessary for her to appear in order to make her point to the actors. At the very least, her hand, waving a script, should appear around the edge of the scenery.	female	—	The personage is listed under the Cast as she will form an important part of the performance of the play. At moments of stress it may even be necessary for her to appear in order to make her point to the actors. At the very least, her hand, waving a script, should appear around the edge of the scenery.