The Great American Cheese Sandwich
by Burton Cohen

THE STORY: The scene is the kitchen of an all-American farmhouse, where Father and Mother, abetted by teenage daughter Betsy (who is eight months pregnant) and football player son Tom (who wears women's clothes), are wrestling with a family crisis—the State Fair is approaching but Mother can't make her prize-winning corncob jelly, as all the corncobs are sour.

Tom turns for advice to his football coach who, after due reflection sagely suggests that they ”Wait 'til the sun shines, Nellie,“ while the others offer bizarre soliloquies recounting the miraculous properties of the good old American Cheese Sandwich, which never fails to come through in an emergency.

In fact it saves the day once more, when it is decided that their entry for the Fair will be American Cheese Sandwich Jelly—whereupon happiness is restored and all huddle together for a family portrait, smiling in unison and saying ”Cheese!” as the flashbulb pops.