Beware the Man Eating Chicken
by Henry Meyerson

Beware the Man Eating Chicken Book Cover — Beware the Man Eating Chicken Cover

Highlights

Female

Male

90 mins Present Day Reduced Casting (Doubling Possible) Interior Set Contemporary Costumes/Street Clothes Comedy

Synopsis

Betty, wanting to be a good mother to her son William, devises a plan to Make Him Bigger and Make Him a Winner.

She enters William in the "Fattest Man in the Universe" contest, and she is determined to win.

Carole, Betty's younger sister, too weak to stand up to Betty's threats and intimidation, is forced to assist in the endless round of cooking the dozens of chickens needed each day for William's inexorable assault on hugeness.

When Captain Leonard of the Board of Health comes to check on the "large carnivore" that is devouring twenty chickens a day he is initially an annoying bureaucrat, but ultimately a timely dessert.

Albert, claiming to own one of the largest chicken farms in the U.S. arrives to negotiate a deal.

For using William's picture on the logo of his product Albert will pay Betty a percentage of the profits on each bird sold and ancillary rights on tie-ins.

The deal is struck.

When Dorothy, Albert's sister, appears claiming she is the true owner of the chicken farm, a struggle between the siblings ensues for control of William and the potential fortune at stake.

But it is Doctor Martin who brings the tragic coup de grace to Betty and her plan for achieving her goals of motherhood.

Press Reviews

"A play about gluttony, cannibalism, human waste and greed. It is a satire with the potential to gross-out the audience...A comedy that was 75 minutes of sheer delight."
— Stageways, Spokane, WA

"Henry Meyerson's one-act is a classic, well-constructed, three-door farce. Its subtext may be a critique of American capitalism, but Meyerson keeps the complaint subtle and focuses instead on recognizable family dynamics: The situation is inherently absurd, but the characters all act with their own skewed logic."
— Columbus Dispatch

"Edgy...shocking...uncomfortably funny and bizarre...outrageous black-as-midnight comedy...sublimely ridiculous end result of being enormously entertaining."
— The Times-Standard, Eureka, CA

"Think The Honeymooners meets Little Shop of Horrors...fans of theatre, even vegetarians, should make a hearty meal of this superlative evening...headlong romp...edgy absurdity and laugh-out-loud humor"
— The North Coast Journal, Eureka, CA

Characters

Character	Gender	Age	Description
Carol Smith Betty’s younger sister; small, wizened, tight-faced, looks self-righteous and is	female	—	Betty’s younger sister; small, wizened, tight-faced, looks self-righteous and is
Captain Leonard slightly moronic look, but feels selfimportant; wears a bloody apron and carries an attaché case	—	—	slightly moronic look, but feels selfimportant; wears a bloody apron and carries an attaché case
Doctor Martin played by the same actor as Captain Leonard; looks like a doctor; he has a stethoscope around his neck to prove it	male	—	played by the same actor as Captain Leonard; looks like a doctor; he has a stethoscope around his neck to prove it
Albert looks sleazy and is; a five-dollar body in a thousand-dollar suit	—	—	looks sleazy and is; a five-dollar body in a thousand-dollar suit
Dorothy Albert’s sister; oozes money and craftiness	female	—	Albert’s sister; oozes money and craftiness
William Smith off-stage voice and various gaseous emissions	—	—	off-stage voice and various gaseous emissions
Betty Smith wiry and sloppily dressed; tough as nails, heavily made up; hard to tell, but probably in her late 40’s, early 50’s	female	—	wiry and sloppily dressed; tough as nails, heavily made up; hard to tell, but probably in her late 40’s, early 50’s